A Sober Experiment

For a while now I've been thinking more and more about my relationship with alcohol and whether or not its something I should take a break from. Luckily it's never been something I've abused (although I certainly did my fair share of drinking throughout college and my 20's!), but it has been something I've used to relax and unwind from a trying day or to numb or dull uncomfortable feelings like stress, nervousness and social anxiety. In recent years I've found healthier and more productive ways to manage these feelings - namely meditation, accepting myself for who I am and practicing just sitting with those feelings and exploring the "why" behind them, rather than just pushing them away with alcohol.

I think the main reason I'd like to take a break is that I just don't feel the way I want to the next day. While I'm not drinking enough to make myself really hungover, even after just 2 drinks I don't sleep as well (confirmed by my Oura ring), I feel noticeably tired the next day and my face looks puffy. These days with 2 little kids, and this new business I'm trying to grow, I really enjoy being active and productive, and after a night of drinking I don't feel like I'm showing up as the best version of myself. Because let's be honest - alcohol in all its forms is a toxin, and one that your body wants to rid itself of at all costs. Your liver will always prioritize excreting the alcohol from your system, and over time if it's always consumed with processing alcohol, it is not able to do the same with other substances in our body that need to pass through the liver, such as estrogen and cholesterol, which can lead to health problems down the road.

With all this in mind I've been challenging myself to become more comfortable not drinking in situations I normally would (weekend nights, evening social events, everyday on vacation etc.). I don't have a lot of experience doing this yet, but what few times I have, I've realized a few things. One is that nobody notices, asks or really cares if you're drinking or not (maybe they assume I'm pregnant but no one has asked), two is that I have just as much fun sober and am realizing I don't need alcohol to take the edge off of talking to new people or to fully relax, three is not drinking at all is infinitely easier than trying to just stick to 1 drink, at least for me. And four, by not drinking I don't have to sacrifice something I want to do the next day like workout, play with my kids or just feel good. I can enjoy an evening out and feel great the next day.

So all this is to say I doubt I'm going to give up alcohol for the rest of my life, but I am interested in doing at least a full month sober to see how it feels. I want to be able to drink because I really want to, with intention, not just as a default because it's a Fri night or a mom's night out. I haven't decided exactly when I'm going to take this month off, but it will likely be this fall and I'll report back with another blog post afterwards.

SO, in the meantime, what do I drink and when? I really try to prioritize quality when I can. For a few months now we’ve been subscribers to Dry Farm Wines. These wines are lower alcohol, sugar free and much lower in sulfites and other additives. I definitely feel a difference after drinking these as compared to conventional wines. Thrive Market also has a nice selection of clean wines as well.

Additionally, WHEN I drink makes a big difference. Just as with eating, I try to allow at least 2 or more hours between my last sip and going to bed. So I will have a glass during the kid’s dinner or bedtime and perhaps one more with my dinner, ending by 8:30. This seems to mitigate the negative effects on my sleep and allows more time to hydrate with water before bed.

Lastly, for anyone interested in learning more about alcohol and the effect it may have on your ability to be the best version of yourself, check out this podcast from Max Lugavere with James Swanwick. And another podcast that really covers the topic of taking a break from alcohol well is this Do The Thing podcast episode from Melissa Urban and Holly Whitaker. In it they talk a lot about building a life you don't want to escape from (with alcohol), which really hit home for me.

Once I've done this break from alcohol, I'll definitely report back with how it went and how I feel. If having alcohol in moderation is working for you and a part of your life that you really enjoy, then by all means, enjoy! I'm just putting this out there as my personal experience and self-experiment in the event that others can relate and benefit from what I discover. As with anything, do your own research and self-experimentation to discover what works best for you. Cheers!